Savoring the Simple

        Yesterday, I took my three younger kids to the park after school to enjoy the 
beautiful fall weather before the rain moves in.  It was a bit chilly, and as I tightened my
jacket  around me and zipped it up as high as I could, I sat down with the intention of 
pulling a book out of my bag and enjoying the chance to dig into it. As I reached over to flip
my bag open, something stopped me.  For some reason the usually coveted time to read, 
felt undesirable now that I had it,  in comparison to the opportunity that unfolded  right in front of me. There was something bigger that enticed my attention.

      It is a fairly new phase of life for me to be in that I can actually read now.  I really didn't 
get much reading in while I was in the middle of raising and pouring into my little kids. So the 
fact that I have read about 4-5 books in the last 6 months, may not seem like a lot to some, but to me its an indication that my kids are needing me in different ways and not so much for 
their most every need.  My best chances of reading when they were small was when I had a 
nursing baby.  Those were the times when I would occasionally pick up a book to read and I would just gobble it up.  They were definitely the longest nursing sessions ever! I remember 
if my nurser slowed down or was ready to be done, that I would gently bounce them with my arm and give them a little nudge to encourage more nursing for them and more time to read for me!  I remember a few times Jesse walking in and saying, " Wow, they're still nursing!?"   I would just smile and say,"Yep.";)

  Now, my kids don't seem so little. The fact that I have a four year old and nobody coming up behind him is a whole new world for me.  Things do feel less hectic, but there are so many
things about that time that I miss.  Having a son who is now almost 13 has really helped put things in perspective for me.   I still remember his bare little toes pressed against the clear 
bassinet at the hospital the day after he was born, as we were fixing to go home. Now, his feet are the size of mine and I actually was able to borrow his cleats this summer!  I think what really has done it though, was a few weeks ago when Jesse pointed out that we only have 5 more short years with Isaiah before he is 18.  Hearing that reality spoken out loud felt a little bit like having the wind knocked out of me.  Five years left to love on him and train him up and encourage him and help him learn to make decisions and recover from mistakes and most importantly to be an example in the home to him of God's love.  Of coarse we will still be loving him and encouraging him etc. when he leaves home. But he won't be at home. It will be so different without him here.  Each kid adds so much to our home and family, that there will naturally be a giant hole when the time comes for them to move on.  As a mom it saddens me and excited me at the same time.  I am excited to watch them grow and see what God calls them to.

  So these recent thoughts have been reeling through my mind lately and are what caused me to leave my book in the bag and sit there and watch three of my kids play. The fact that my two older children opted out of going to the park was another reminder of how fleeting my time with them is. 

I am so glad that I didn't bury my eyes in the pages of that book because I would've missed so much.  I would've missed the sound of laughter as my kids chased each other and the seasonal sound of leaves falling from the trees and crunching beneath the feet of my boys.
I would have missed watching Micaiah sit among a blanket of the orange, red and yellow leaves while she did her homework and patiently grabbed leaves and tossed them as they fell on her books and that sweet little smile she gave me, when she felt I was watching her.  I would've missed the funny sight of Ezra trying to help Evan out of a tree when Evan
decided to let go and jump into Ezra's arms, causing them to both topple to the ground. It made me laugh to watch Ezra hold the water fountain on(which shot extremely high) and to see him turn it off every time Evan's very extended tongue got just close enough to taste the water and then to hear them both crack up laughing and then do it again.  These things may not seem worth much to some, but these precious memories I am holding from yesterday,
mean the world to me.  They remind me of what I'm doing here. They cause me to want to press into Jesus even more and to love my kids even better.  To really enjoy my limited time with them.These little memories are ones that I want to savor and swish around in my mind for a while, like a good wine, because those things that I witnessed yesterday, are never likely to repeat themselves just the same, if at all. And, I almost missed them.  I thank God that I didn't this time.